Sunday, September 20, 2015

x smoking

last Friday marked my 5th week of not smoking.


Hooray me!


I don't really know what sparked the change. it was mixed between growing old (yes, yours truly will be 40 in 2 years time), my babies took turn getting sick from May to August, not that well myself since May and someone from the office throwing the challenge.


i has quit twice before for about a year when i was pregnant with the boys. but promptly took it up again the day i got back to the office. it were not that difficult to quit smoking then. i had reasons.


now, it difficult on some days but bearable on others. the stress is getting to me. so lets cross our fingers and hope that i can continue with being clean.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Thank You

I am not sure whether I want to delete my angry posts.


I don't think so.


I am angry, and I have been angry for a long time. it has been an amazing miracle that I have managed to bite my tongue every single time. A miracle.


So I think I need this space to vent out.


If you don't like it, there's the x in the box at the upper right corner. Click on it.


I don't think I can ever forgive or forget. I pray to God that your daughters will relive the same that I do and then you can imagine how my mother felt like. but then again, you are the perfect "victim", you already made everyone felt guilty about how bad you have been treated all your life, your sacrifices, that they now gave theirs to you. I don't think your daughters are ever getting married, having to live their lives in servitude now to you.


A parent does not do that.


but you know, I have to thank you, really, I do. you made me realize how LUCKY I am to have the parents that I have. I have been a horrible, rebellious, stubborn daughter. but never once that they ever spoke of how terrible their sacrifices were. Never once my mother ever spoke of how painful her delivery was and how I should be grateful to her and buy her flowers for her birthday.


NEVER ONCE. 


you have made me realized how I have truly taken my parents for granted, that there are worse parents out there that I could be born to. like you.


So thank you. really.