Saturday, November 28, 2015
it has been a very exhausting month. I would have thought that my birthday month would have been sympathetic to me but no. it was one drama after another. and I thought the drama would all end on the 2nd December with the Board meeting but of course, nothing seems to go my way these days. The Board meeting is postponed to 11th.
Taking a deep breath seems to be my modus operandi these days.
Other than that, I am pleased to note that my quit smoking campaign is still going on strong. Except that one stick during Zi's do, after which I am so pleased the cravings are not there. I would have thought that it would be difficult but no. amazing.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
I don't really know what sparked the change. it was mixed between growing old (yes, yours truly will be 40 in 2 years time), my babies took turn getting sick from May to August, not that well myself since May and someone from the office throwing the challenge.
i has quit twice before for about a year when i was pregnant with the boys. but promptly took it up again the day i got back to the office. it were not that difficult to quit smoking then. i had reasons.
now, it difficult on some days but bearable on others. the stress is getting to me. so lets cross our fingers and hope that i can continue with being clean.
Friday, September 11, 2015
I don't think so.
I am angry, and I have been angry for a long time. it has been an amazing miracle that I have managed to bite my tongue every single time. A miracle.
So I think I need this space to vent out.
If you don't like it, there's the x in the box at the upper right corner. Click on it.
I don't think I can ever forgive or forget. I pray to God that your daughters will relive the same that I do and then you can imagine how my mother felt like. but then again, you are the perfect "victim", you already made everyone felt guilty about how bad you have been treated all your life, your sacrifices, that they now gave theirs to you. I don't think your daughters are ever getting married, having to live their lives in servitude now to you.
A parent does not do that.
but you know, I have to thank you, really, I do. you made me realize how LUCKY I am to have the parents that I have. I have been a horrible, rebellious, stubborn daughter. but never once that they ever spoke of how terrible their sacrifices were. Never once my mother ever spoke of how painful her delivery was and how I should be grateful to her and buy her flowers for her birthday.
you have made me realized how I have truly taken my parents for granted, that there are worse parents out there that I could be born to. like you.
So thank you. really.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
My hat's off to those moms who work and have no maids or support system.
even my mom has her own support system when she was working. My late tokmak and bevies of aunts and uncles took care of us. But even then i know she was exhausted.
So yeah, FUCK OFF. I dont need your holier-than-thou attitude.
Oh yeah, while we're at it, little girl, your family is not my center of the universe. I couldnt care less.
Friday, July 03, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
This morning my husband asked me which insurance company my car is covered under.
Err... i dunno.
Of course he rolled his eyes and said he'll find out fm the car co. and i smiled happily before we both went off to our offices.
i remembered that when i was single i did almost everything w regards to my car including checking the oil level and topping up the battery myself. The only thing i refused to do was change the tyres. Now, i cat even bother to remember which insurance company my car is covered under!
in the current world of equality and where feminism demands equal rights should men be offended that we leave all things "car" to them?
Oh, yeah, i forgot. As long as we r the only ones who can give birth to kids, yes, they should do all the "car" things and other stuffs too.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Friday, February 06, 2015
I think the more that i forces myself to write the more that it wont come to me.
I remember a time when the need to write were so horrendous that i would spend sleepless nights just typing away.
But now it seems like i cant even write a full paragraph without my mind wondering about something else, most usually my kids or my work. It seems like i've lost it after giving birth to adam.
Did my brain rewire itself? Or my hormones just got balanced out that i dont need this outlet anymore?