Friday, July 08, 2011

i am in the mood to write today.

somehow, the thought of not being able to do the things only you do by yourself scared the s*** out of me. like writing the blog that i have forgotten for so blardy long. like downloading and reading all my trashy books and ebooks. like rolling on the bed under the covers in an air-cond room after hubby went to work, not really sleeping but just being..

yesterday i went out to do errands by myself. i didnt realize it until i got back home that i wanted to do it rather than i have to do it. i shouldnt do it coz i'm so sarat already and cant even breathe properly let alone managed to do all the errands that i planned to do if i were not preggers. all of the cashiers and sales person were commenting "oh beraninya u keluar dah dekat nak bersalin ni"

i was like "huh?"

what should i do then? stay at home at wait? i am already freaked out with all this and you want me to sit alone, at home, nothing to stop me from thinking of all the possible potential disastrous antics i could "inflict" on my child as he grows up and freaked me out some more???

eeeeiiikkk.... thank you but no thanx. i rather have shortness of breath from walking too much than that.

tonight, we are going on a date. our last one before everything changes.
I am starting to hyperventilate..

i've just realised that today is the last day that i'm going to be ALONE with hubby!! after this, there's no more "just the two of us"..

no, i'm not gonna deliver tomorrow but starting from tomorrow, the family will start coming in and then on Monday the lil bundle of joy will be here!

oh, have i told you that i'm delivering on Monday?

yes, we've made "an appointment" to have him on Monday the 11th of July 2011 at 830 in the morning. i should probably made it at 1107am as well but hey..

so, yes, lil bundle of joy will be here on Monday morning and from then on our lives as we know it will change forever. there's no more only "you" and "me", the priority is now different.

what am i feeling?

happy, nervous, stressed out.. all the above and many many more. after living for yourself for the last 34 years, you will be responsible for another human being..

oh god, give me strength..

Friday, July 01, 2011

my maid is annoying the hell out of me!!!

uurrrggghhh!!!

she has been with us for a full month already and still, some of the things have to be repeatedly told and reminded over and over again. i mean, come on! how difficult is it to remember to wash your hands? or to not answer "apa" when people call you? or just pls DO NOT SMELL??!!!

i am not a screamer and amazingly, i havent shouted or screamed at her but i can nag, especially after coming back from the office at 8pm and hvg to cook with her and hvg to withstand her sheer endless stupidity. her usual answer "saya lupa, kak".. and of course i had to tell her over and over again. most of the time she will try to answer back "di sana saya buat begini" and now that i've told her "kamu bukan di sana. kalau kamu mau buat seperti di sana, balik lah ke sana. di sini, kamu buat seperti cara di sini" she doesnt asnwer back as much.

is that too much to ask of an employee of yours??

for the whole month, i dont think there's anything that she's good at. sayang told me that i am too exacting at the standards for someone who's uneducated and literally uncivilised, well, maybe but she's not here for free.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Week 37, Day 3


"Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you.
Before you were an hour, I would die for you.
This is the miracle of love."
Maureen Hawkins

at 38th week, he is now full term and weighing at 3.2kg +/-200g... he is still in a breech position, but now vertically rightsideup, i can feel his head poking at my ribs.. sayang told me he just want to be closer to mommy :)

sweet huh?

but not so sweet at night when he decides that neither one of mommy's sleeping positions is suitable for him! i cant sleep on either of my side comfortably with him squirming. he'll only stop squirming when i lay flat on my back, which is WAY uncomfortable!!! i cant breathe and my back hurts...

so sleepless nights.. and someone told me that he's just making me practice for what to come next, more sleepless nights.. sigh...

notty boy, u...

anyways, since i'm due in another 2 and a half weeks, my doc told me that i may go into labor at any time now, and he's not comfortable with the idea of lil baby in the breech position.. it may be dangerous in the event of emergency.. touch wood, nauzubillah..

so next monday on my next checkup, if he's still enjoying his right side up position, i will be making an appointment for a C-sect. mommy can heal slower if she has too, scars daddy can pay for laser later, but i refuse to endanger you...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Week 36, Day 1

have i told you that he is now in a horizontal position across my belly?

yes, d lil bundle of joy in mommy's tummy has decided that being upside down is not fun anymore and moved himself in his cramped space.

now, my tummy felt stretched like crazy and i may hv to hv a c-sect if he still decides that being horizontal is the most comfortable position ever!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

and she membebel some more!!

excusez-moi, i can speak indonesian k, though there are some words that i dont understand but it's literally the same language.

and auntie, u definitely dont want ME to start membebel!

i'm already mengah as it is and it's enough that i have to tell you to WASH YOUR HANDS every five minutes, i dont think you want me to start..
oh come on.. how difficult is it to wash the toilet?

anything and everything that has to be cleaned in this house has been done by me or my husband, ergo, it is not that difficult to do and as such, since you are the full time maid, you should be able to do it as well.

when i said SCRUB, scrub lah!!

i have scrubbed the toilet before so i know it can be done!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Week 34, Day 7

oh god, 5 more weeks to go, maybe even less..

our last checkup on monday showed that mommy's boy is now approximately 3kgs!! and i have another month to go.. it would have not scared me if it's not for the fact that 3 weeks ago he's only 1.8kg! take that into account and he may be well above 4kg by the time he's ready to meet us!

but it's OK.. i am grateful and thankful to god for him.. alhamdulillah..

Saturday, June 04, 2011

i dont get it.

i have not blogged on other topics nowadays other than the progress of my pregnancy and what this little bundle of joy in mommy's-tummy is currently doing.. nothing else rate much interest nowadays..

but this current hoop-la about "the obedient wife club" really bugs me..

have u heard or read about it?

i mean, COME ON!

i wonder where all these warped ideas come from. i cant believe someone actually said that "Domestic abuse happens because wives don’t obey their husband. He must be responsible for his wife’s well-being but she must listen to him”...

good god, really?

i wish ALL THE VERY BEST to the speaker who uttered those words.

and more..

We just want to ask all the wives to be obedient wives so that there will be fewer problems in our society such as infidelity, divorce and domestic violence". can you believe that the speaker herself is in a polygamous marriage? as the second of her husband’s two wives?

think, people. before the husband legally marries the 2nd wife, what did he do? of course he had to get to know his 2nd-wife-to-be, courted her, dated her..

thus, in LITERAL TRANSLATION OF THE TIKUS, CHEATED ON THE 1st WIFE WITH HER. isnt that infidelity?? well, unless of course, the husband married the 2nd wife blindly or for "religion-sake" because she's a war-widow that needs taken cared of or something. not bloody likely, huh?

worse with 4 wives! he got away with cheating THREE times on his 1st wife, twice on the 2nd and blah blah..

i got tired and "mengah" just reading about this.. but these days, i try not to think or even care about these things.

each to their own.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Week 33, Day 4, Part 2

as of today, i am now officially 70 kilos.

yes, SEVENTY! a number that hasnt even crossed my mind, my scale, in the last 33 and a half years of my life.

that is 12 kgs more than my normal average weight..

and there's another month to go..

Week 33, Day 4

i swear to god he thot he's getting a bike when he's coming out next month!

why?

coz he's been pedaling inside mummy's tummy like nobody's business!!!

sorry baby, not that soon.. but if it were really up to me, u will not, i repeat, WILL NOT, ever, learn how to ride a bike, a motorbike, a superbike or whatever family or crossover it will have in the future.

not even when u're 40.

i'd rather u start hvg sex at 15 (nauzubillah!) than ride a bike that can harm u.

but unfortunately, ur dad has 50% of the vote on this topic, the bike riding that is, not the hvg sex bit.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Week 32, Day 1

Today, he's about 8 months old in my tummy.. another 8 more weeks to go.. lucky numero 8 huh?

but most of the time, i'm confused with this timing thingy.

we learn that human pregnancy is 9 months.

so, by months calculation, there's another month to go.

but by weeks calculation, there's 8 more weeks to go, which is abt 2 months, which makes human pregnancy 10 months!

apakah??

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Week 30, Day 3

he's getting bigger!!!

and will get bigger somemore..

i am back to the first trimester mode but a bit worse; i'm so freaking exhausted, i cant breathe properly, i cant sleep properly, i cant eat, food smells starting to bug me again.. but the worse thing is, i'm starting to want a ciggie!!!

for the past 6 mths i havent had a craving for a drag.. after that hellish 1st mth of cold turkey-ing and wanting to bite the head off the next person, i have no craving for a ciggie at all. even the smell bugged me.. but now, i cant seem to wait to have a puff..

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Week 29, Day 7 Part 2

Selingan rancangan jap k..

i had to go and sidai baju and comtemplated whether to iron hubby's clothes today or tomorrow..

well, tomorrow it is then..

ever since hubby moved to P, he has uniforms to wear. and unfortunately, he has only 4 of them at the moment. they are still waiting for more stocks.

so imagine having only 4 shirts to wear!!

no, no, no, wrong imagination.

imagine being a WIFE to a guy who has only 4 shirts to wear!!!!

of course i had to do laundry and iron every week twice a week!!

eeeiiiggghhhhh!!!!

i've even asked him if i can take one of his uniforms and have them replicated at pertama, preferably 14 sets!! he laughed and asked me "arent u in the IP section of your company? isnt that infringing?"

huh? do i look like i care?

Week 29, Day 7 Part 1

panas nya hari ini..

i already have ulcers in my mouth from the episode with the durian.. like jeez, i didnt even eat one whole durian, just like 5 ulas or something.. and now, the heat is just killing me.. and of course, the letrik bill will cause a heavy dent for this mth's utility. yes, i turned on all 4 of the airconds within my reach.

today, we're going to melaka for a visit. my bro is already there from yday and i'm hoping for another bro to be there as well with his family. i havent visited my parents since ages. mostly because i was, and i think still am, annoyed and irritated with them. well, that's another story.

tomorrow, the little bundle of "squirming-in-mommy's-tummy" joy will be 30 weeks old, and so there's 10 more weeks to go.. only 10??

eeeiiiiggghhhh!!!

i have been dreading the thought of "labor".. for the past 29 weeks, i have not thought about it at all. mainly, i had been engrossed with the fact that i am still spotting every now and then, my discharge is getting heavier and the best fact ever baby boy is moving like nobody's business :)

we are still busy preparing for his stuff, going back and forth to baby stores. daddy-o insisted on getting his son's first set of everything from mothercare while mommy just rolled her eye and snapped the nearest baby blankie, clothes etc from babyland.

"sayang, tak sampai sebulan pun nanti dia dah tak boleh pakai. tak payah spend banyak2 k"

did he listen to me?

well, we have yet to go to mothercare :))

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Week 29, Day 5

acid reflux, wind and indigestion are in da house!!

eiiihhh...

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Week 29, Day 3

oh good god...

lil baby boy doesnt like durian.. poor baby, he's so restless last nite and the whole day today..

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Week 29, Day 1

I am loving the fact that my child is elbowing me from within.. Sometimes it makes me laugh coz i can just imagine his grimace "mommy, i need more space la.."

I am loving the fact that he is growing and i can imagine him rolling his eyes and saying "yea, yea, what's new"

Most of all, i am just loving the fact that he's there, so loved and cherished..

Friday, April 29, 2011

week 28, Day 6 Part II

sayang, cepatla, lapar k..

Week 28, Day 6

it finally dawned to me that it's not worth feeling crap over something that you can avoid in the first place - just dont be in that situation in the 1st place..

easier said than done. especially when they involve friends.

and at this day and age, it's not easy to make new friends. well, acquaintances are abundance but real friends are not that easy to find.

do u just suck it up and paste a cheery smile on your face and blame everything on your tumultuous hormones?

sometimes.

but nah, i dont think so, not now.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Week 20, Day 7

we had a full day already today and it's not over yet...

in a few minutes the washing machine will beep and i have to sidai baju and then rush to tiara ampang to check on the cleaners for the house to be ready for our new tenants.

when i let them in earlier today i expected that they would have all the required stuff to CLEAN a house. and when i instruct them to clean the toilet "ah, clorox enggak ada la kak"

what??

sometimes i wonder...

Monday, February 28, 2011

Week 20, Day 2

i swear to god he got bigger last weekend!

oh, have i told u that our little bundle of joy is a boy?? oh yes, we did in total three scans to check his birdie.. one was about in week 10 or something and the other two were during week 18.. and this one is definitely not a shy kid..

"what, mummy wants to see? oh here you go.."

and there, we can see his birdie..

it was quite fun to see actually, the scan as a whole i mean :) especially when he's trying to sleep and we're just poking him with the scanner thing. u can see him tossing and turning and sometimes trying to suck his thumb!! oh baby, pls dont suck ur thumb!! *sigh*

so today, i feel like a mini-whale.. or at least a walrus.. whichever one that's big and breathe heavily coz i cant seem to find my breath anywhere! have i left it somewhere?? i cant remember, my brain seemed to be on stand-by most of the time lately, if not all of the time! i swear to god my boss is going to think that i fail english or something, coz she had to correct my board paper three times!!!! and they are all silly spelling and grammar mistakes, not content mistake k!! malunya!!!

so, that's it for tonight!

HAHAHAHA!!!

i know, i know.. when i started this post, i actually have something to write about.. and then i got lost somewhere in the middle and by the time i got to the walrus thing i completely forgot what i was going to write.. i kept think, hmmmm, which one is bigger, walrus or mini-whale? is there a mini-whale??

OMG!! i swear.....

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Week 17, Day 6

today we went to see the curtain contractor at the house. honestly i thought our main contractor will just pasang the rods or the rails and i will go get the curtain myself. and then, J came with samples and samples of curtains..

damn... this is going to be expensive.

nevermind, lets just see how expensive.

so we went through the whole house, measuring, picking choosing.. since there's only going to be 3 of us there for the time being, i decided to only pasang the ground floor, the master bedroom and the 1st floor living hall. the guest rooms and 2nd floor will just be decked with double rails and i'll find the curtains later.

J went to his calculator and guess how much it came out to be?

5 freaking thousand!!! for curtain rods/rails for the whole house and curtains at only 4 places and 2 venetian blinds at the kitchen... tergelak la kan sekejap..

aiyo J, auntie cannot afford 5k la.. i told him my budget is 2k for the whole house and it was quite hilarious to see his eyes BULGED out!!

so in the end we agreed to a compromise, and now i am in the market for cheap nice looking french-pleat curtains (since eyelets are blardy expensive)..

Friday, February 11, 2011

Week 17, Day 5

Dearest Sayang,

happy 5th anniversary!!!

i love you.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Week 17, Day 3

ppl, please la..

if u are sick or sok sek sok sek, please go to the doctor and get medicated or get an MC and go home!!!

it's not that i'm not sorry that u're already feeling miserable but you are not helping anyone by being in the office. you are not doing work properly and you are infectious!!!! sneezing and coughing at every blardy corner!

i do not want to get sick, so bugger off home!!!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Week 16, Day 2

I am sooo lazy...

honestly, being preggers with your first child is very exciting and shocking and sometimes unreal.. though i am still coming into terms to the fact that i am responsible for another being's life and well-being for the next 6 months or so and going to share the responsibility thereafter, the miracle of creation still awes me..

i mean, i read about it, i heard about it, i saw it when my frens had theirs but when it happens to me i cant believe how miraculous it just is..

there's a baby in my body, growing.

how amazing is that? there were times when i can hardly take care of myself; couldnt care less if i had enough sleep or drink enough water or smoke how many packs already? now, i have to keep reminding myself that i have to eat healthy, drink that stupid yucky tasting water coz lil baby needs it, eat that humongous sized pills coz lil baby needs nutrients.. dont walk too fast, dont carry heavy stuff, dont wear highheels.. everything now revolves around the lil baby.. it's just amazing the change in priority just like that.

i am still amazed..

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Week 15, Day 6

come on, lets just face it..

i am so blardy lazy to keep posting on this blog.. especially now.. oh good god, i barely have enough energy to get through the 8 hour work schedule and i get home and i'm hungry ALL the time and by the time i'm full, i'll be dozing in front of the TV!!

i tell you, if the food doesnt get me FAT, my habits will. like seriously, sleeping after a big bunch of food every time is not funny..

my tummy is getting bigger and i still have to tell my family!!! oh no!!! sigh.. ok, this weekend, this weekend..

Saturday, January 15, 2011

i meant to write this on the day i found out about it but yes, of course, i was distracted.

so anyways, for those who have yet to know, i am preggers! hhehehehe!!! it was a really, really pleasant surprise for us. we were trying for two years almost and i was about ready to go opt for alternative procedure. and then one day, i went to guardians to get some stuff and i came across the ovulation kit. i brought one box of 5 home with me thinking, oh well, it cant hurt to try, can it?

at that time, i was already at my 17th day of my usual 28 day cycle. but i remembered when we used to scan my eggs, i was late at ovulating. one time, it was at day 16 and my egg was still not out.. so i thought, heh, lets just try and see.. so i did, and i tried.. and guess what, i got positive results at day 20 and 21! can u believe it??? i thought i was like the rest of you normal average people because my period is so predictable these past years, 28 days on the dot or the very least +/- 1 day.. all of the doctors that i went to see saw my egg at day 12 and assume i'm going to ovulate at day 14 or 15 max. even when we scanned at day 16 and it was late, it was attributed to stress etc and the doctor told me i'd be ovulating on the 17th or 18th day at the time because of the size of the egg (ready to mature/ovulate)..

so for the past year, we have been up to it from day 12 to 18 at least.. coz after that, i'd be all PMS-ing and snarly and in a DONT-TOUCH-ME while teeth bared mood.. so imagine my surprise to get positive sticks on the 20th and 21st day. and no, i was not in any way stressed that month.. so we went for it :)

and by the next month, i was late for 4-5 days i think for my next cycle. it was right after deepavali and i just felt it. i went to test and it was positive. i was speechless, really.. i went out to get more sticks and all 4 of them were positive.. it was the best day of our lives.

and now, i'm at my 13th week, going to my 14th tomorrow. my pregnancy is going OK. i cant say i'm having bad morning sickness but mild and all day woozy feeling.. it was OK. i am tired most of the time and still trying to adapt to my "new eating schedule". yes, eating schedule. i get hungry like every hour if i'm lucky. my baby bump is growing and so is my waistline. needless to say more than half of my wardrobe are non-usable at the moment (and hopefully can be used again later). i try not to get a whole new wardrobe for now coz i know it will not be usable, again, after the next month. sigh...

so, anyways, i have to stop now coz i need to eat something. notice the word NEED. suddenly i just need to eat, like there's an alarm in my head telling me "eat now". i dont even feel hungry now, but if i wait for another 10 minutes, my tummy will be rumbling like i havent eaten for days.. like really... and yes, there's the rumble.. so ciao bebs!!!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

1.1.11

ok, i know i have put this blog on private for the time being and i really mean for the time being.. there's a piece of news that i want to blog about but i just dont want it to be read for a while.

so, i guess by the time u guys get to read this, it'll be really really old news.. even this post is written later than when it was supposed to be written. somehow, i dont find sitting on the floor in front of the lappie as exciting as before..

anyways, happy new year peeps. sorry for the month delay or half-month delay to be more correct. i wish for the best for all of you. 2011 will be a big year for the tikus for sure.. hehehe.. BIG.. it's the year to re-prioritize the important things. so far for the past years we have lived for ourselves only, what we want, what pleased us.. now, we have to learn that the priority is no longer with us. it'll take quite a bit of adjustment but i'm sure we can handle it well.

so, again, happy new year and i actually cant wait to let this blog be public again.. :)