Monday, December 31, 2007

31st December 2007

today is the last day of the year 2007.

i am armed with my new year resolutions that i will (yes, i will) make them happen.. i am determined, more so now than ever. something has to change to let something else happen.. i dont think i ever felt this determined before for the past new years.. maybe it's another phase of really growing up..

2007 has been a very eventful year i must say.. many of which added to steep learning curve of my life. i learned patience and a lot of it. compromise, oh god, there's nothing like it.. having called degil by most of the people who really know me, having to compromise and not having my own way, is really something new to me.. maybe it's just time to grow up.

looking back, i realise how childish some of the things i've done.. childish and most importantly, selfish.. this whole, i am me and i do whatever i like to be happy, is good if you are own your own. but when ur life is shared with someone else, compromise becomes a huge word in your dictionary.. some people learned early and grew up early, well, people like me had to learn it later.. but better late than never..

i am determined..

Sunday, December 30, 2007

it's amazing when u think of all the people u've met, the people u've made frens with, frens u havent seen in ages and frens u almost lost contact with and u realise that this world is actually small.. the internet age has made it even smaller..

and yet, with all the facilities in the world, there are still frens of whom u mutually acknowledge that it's best to not keep in touch with.. that sometimes, the hurt is more than the elation of finding them again..

i always thot of what wud happened if things were different, if some blocks of history were rewritten differently.. and then i realised that the journey i took made what i am now. and if i didnt go through what i had, i wouldnt have learned the lessons i did learn, wouldnt have made the frens i now cherished, and probably wouldnt have had the love i now live in..

the grass always seems greener on the other side, but instead of hopping over, work on ur own grass to make it as green...

i want...

today i went to sufia's first bday bash.. she's my old fren's, farah, daughter.. her son, faisal, whom his first bday bash i also went years ago, is now almost four, well, is four, from the way he shouted his age when auntie dila asked.. haha..

linda was there as well, with imaan, who is now a year and three month, so she kept reminding me, since i missed his first bday party for reasons completely selfish.. ala... it's not my fault his bday falls in the middle of our annual vacation time.. which always reminds me that i missed my good fren's labor, also because i was on vacation as well.. hey, linda, u told me ur delivery was going to be in the 2nd week of sept! i thot i had time!! anyways, i do owe imaan his present, and yes, auntie dila will get u a pair of cute adidas sneakers! finally, i have a reason to get those cute lil my-palm-is-bigger-than-thou sports sneakers for toddlers!!!

seeing them and their kids, i could not believe that these gurls, or ehem..ladies they are now, are the same gurls i "toot" with almost 10 year ago!!! not a bit.. both have that mother-ly aura now, well, except for linda with her funky curls!! anyways, if yatt and arianna were there as well, it would have been a complete amazing picture for me.. mothers, daughters and sons..

and somewhere in me, there's a small voice saying, i want....

and here we go again

alor, je suis ici.. again..

changed this, changed that but really, everything is the same..

but honestly, with the spirit of the new year la kan, i do want to change some stuff.. i think lifestyle change should definitely be in the first queue for this new year's resolution.. for the past months, i kinda realise that i have to do something with my life.. something significant.. and what is better than to start the new year, the new age-decade with a lifestyle change..

i dunno how i will be able to manage it though..