Wednesday, August 17, 2016
it must have been such a traumatizing experience *haha*
anyways, u know how I have been bitching about transferring out for the past years? so as of 1st april, they did transfer me out. only that by then, I didn't want to be transferred out. and the most sweetest thing is, ppl do want me back..
they say change is good. yes, I agree. right before 28th March, I changed my mind. funny how things go as they are.
so now, it's about 5 months I'm in the different sector of the new division. I cant say that it's the most interesting thing in the world but dear God, it's certainly hectic. I am still waiting for news on another matter, but I cant quite make myself write about that for the moment. it's still too depressing and exciting at the same time.
other than that, I realize that I really have to buck up and start delivering to what I know I am capable of. I have to admit that I have not been up to my full capacity and capability which mainly because I have been wallowing in self pity ever since the transfer.
well, wish me luck!
Saturday, February 27, 2016
it's not like we, the staffs, don't know what's coming.
but the expectations and the obvious glee from the society is a bit disappointing.
I just hope we will prove them wrong.
but in any case, what do they all think would happen to this country, a nation that is heavily dependent on its oil and gas industry, if its NOC is not performing because of the bleak global conditions? do they think that they will not be affected? that they could just go their merry ways?
baru letak GST dah nak topple government. ppffftt.. imagine if the government lose 60% of its income from its biggest contributor. what are u gonna do?
anywho, tick tock.. tick tock..
Saturday, January 02, 2016
Saturday, November 28, 2015
it has been a very exhausting month. I would have thought that my birthday month would have been sympathetic to me but no. it was one drama after another. and I thought the drama would all end on the 2nd December with the Board meeting but of course, nothing seems to go my way these days. The Board meeting is postponed to 11th.
Taking a deep breath seems to be my modus operandi these days.
Other than that, I am pleased to note that my quit smoking campaign is still going on strong. Except that one stick during Zi's do, after which I am so pleased the cravings are not there. I would have thought that it would be difficult but no. amazing.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
I don't really know what sparked the change. it was mixed between growing old (yes, yours truly will be 40 in 2 years time), my babies took turn getting sick from May to August, not that well myself since May and someone from the office throwing the challenge.
i has quit twice before for about a year when i was pregnant with the boys. but promptly took it up again the day i got back to the office. it were not that difficult to quit smoking then. i had reasons.
now, it difficult on some days but bearable on others. the stress is getting to me. so lets cross our fingers and hope that i can continue with being clean.
Friday, September 11, 2015
I don't think so.
I am angry, and I have been angry for a long time. it has been an amazing miracle that I have managed to bite my tongue every single time. A miracle.
So I think I need this space to vent out.
If you don't like it, there's the x in the box at the upper right corner. Click on it.
I don't think I can ever forgive or forget. I pray to God that your daughters will relive the same that I do and then you can imagine how my mother felt like. but then again, you are the perfect "victim", you already made everyone felt guilty about how bad you have been treated all your life, your sacrifices, that they now gave theirs to you. I don't think your daughters are ever getting married, having to live their lives in servitude now to you.
A parent does not do that.
but you know, I have to thank you, really, I do. you made me realize how LUCKY I am to have the parents that I have. I have been a horrible, rebellious, stubborn daughter. but never once that they ever spoke of how terrible their sacrifices were. Never once my mother ever spoke of how painful her delivery was and how I should be grateful to her and buy her flowers for her birthday.
you have made me realized how I have truly taken my parents for granted, that there are worse parents out there that I could be born to. like you.
So thank you. really.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
My hat's off to those moms who work and have no maids or support system.
even my mom has her own support system when she was working. My late tokmak and bevies of aunts and uncles took care of us. But even then i know she was exhausted.
So yeah, FUCK OFF. I dont need your holier-than-thou attitude.
Oh yeah, while we're at it, little girl, your family is not my center of the universe. I couldnt care less.
Friday, July 03, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
This morning my husband asked me which insurance company my car is covered under.
Err... i dunno.
Of course he rolled his eyes and said he'll find out fm the car co. and i smiled happily before we both went off to our offices.
i remembered that when i was single i did almost everything w regards to my car including checking the oil level and topping up the battery myself. The only thing i refused to do was change the tyres. Now, i cat even bother to remember which insurance company my car is covered under!
in the current world of equality and where feminism demands equal rights should men be offended that we leave all things "car" to them?
Oh, yeah, i forgot. As long as we r the only ones who can give birth to kids, yes, they should do all the "car" things and other stuffs too.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Friday, February 06, 2015
I think the more that i forces myself to write the more that it wont come to me.
I remember a time when the need to write were so horrendous that i would spend sleepless nights just typing away.
But now it seems like i cant even write a full paragraph without my mind wondering about something else, most usually my kids or my work. It seems like i've lost it after giving birth to adam.
Did my brain rewire itself? Or my hormones just got balanced out that i dont need this outlet anymore?
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Sometimes life throws you a crazy curve ball and you just have to try and swing it.
A friend gave me some hard truth and as much as it was difficult to swallow i really appreciated her advice and sound perception.
At the end of the day, despite all the crazy curve balls, YOU have all the power to decide what be. You can try to swing it, train to be better or you can leave the game.
In the end it's what you make out of it that matters.